A very special update written by Charlotte AND Alice

I realize that Charlotte, Monet, and I have been terrible bloggers. We've been very busy with classes and I'm stage managing and costuming a show and Monet has been hanging out with Buddha and contemplating the universe (he does this a lot).

We've been so busy that, despite rooming together, Charlotte and I have barely seen each other in something like two weeks. Right now she's editing a paper and working on an annotated bibliography and we've decided that once she's done, we need to do something fun.

We've decided that watching a movie is in order and I said it has to be a comedy and Charlotte wants something gay and then I realized this would be a perfect blog post.

So, here's a list of things Charlotte and I love to see in movies with our arbitrary points for each item. Obviously, the more points, the more we like it.

Comedy (+15): We like to laugh and it's a nice distraction from the stress of final papers (yes, we're already thinking about these and doing research because that's how space station college works).

Gay characters (+5 for Charlotte, -3 to +6 for Alice, depending on the portrayal): Since I'm queer and Charlotte loves fabulousness, we're all about GBLTQ characters. No heteronormative dilweeds allowed!

Drag queens (+10): Drag queens are fabulous. End of story. Unless it's Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. We're still trying to decide about how we feel about that film.

Drag kings (+50): There need to be more drag kings in the world. And uh, gender play is hot. Just sayin'.

Fabulousness (+1 to 100, depending): Does this need justification?

Glitter: See above

Pop culture references (but not too many because then it gets annoying!)(-7 to +8): There's a fine line between a sweet reference that makes things funnier and lamesauce.

David Bowie! (+9, though if it's unexpected, +20): Labyrinth. Need I say more? He combines kinda gay with glitter and fabulousness. Even post glam and the 80s.

Historical references (+6): Kate Beaton comics FTW. Also, who doesn't like being smart?

Knowing historical anachronisms (opposed to just fucking things up because you didn't do the research)(+13): See A Knight's Tale for an example of something awesomly anarchronistic.

Bad history and poor researching (-20 zillion points): See The Patriot. Guest comments by Charlotte:

Tomahawk Scene. omg. Guerrilla warfare in the American Revolution was not fought like this, it would be fought with more than one man and it would not be him just popping out from behind trees. It was "guerrilla warfare" because they didn't really have formation like the British and they would hide behind landforms etc to fight instead of lining up while wearing bright colors and firing in the open like the British. Linking this to guerrilla warfare became popular during the Vietnam war, but it was actually very different.

Also, this is the second movie we have listed with Heath Ledger in it.

Good soundtracks (+5 by default, up to +25): There are so many to choose from! Here are some of Charlotte, Monet, and my favorites:

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Kidnap the Sandy Claus)
Cabaret (Two Ladies)
Once (Falling Slowly)
The Darjeeling Limited (Les Champs-Élysées)
Pirates of the Carribbean (He's a Pirate remix)
Buffy (Rest in Peace)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (The Steward of Gondor)
Kill Bill (The Grand Duel)
O Brother Where Art Thou (I Am A Man of Constant Sorrow)
Paprika (The Girl in Byakkoya)
A Series of Unfortunate Events (The Marvelous Marriage)
The Tango Lesson (I Am You)
Utena (Overture, Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku, and Nemuro Kinenkan)

Fantastic costume design (+6 minimum): Colleen Atwood is love.

Sweet special effects and stunts (+4): Let's talk about Pirates of the Carribbean and how freaking awesome it looks (most of the time). Case in point: Jack Sparrow, Norrington, and Will Turner fight for the key to the Dead Man's Chest.

Awesome battles that make sense in the context of the movie (+8): A.k.a The Battle of Helms Deep in The Two Towers.

Stylish glasses (+3): Tina Fey!

Tim Burton (+50 automatically): The man's a genius, what can we say?

Clever writing (+9): Insert something clever _here_

Solid plotlines (+23.7): We like plot. Stories where things happen-and they mostly make sense-are pretty awesome in our opinion and sadly lacking.

British accents (-2 to +7): Accents are awesome and classy like Rupert Grint! when they're done well. When they're done badly, well, there's a reason why Dick Van Dyck still gets mocked for Mary Poppins.

Musical numbers: How can you not love them? Here are some of our favorites: I'm Rather Shy from Tipping the Velvet, Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge, A scene from Pin Up Girl which is one of the best musicals ever, By the Sea from Sweeney Todd, Amada Palmer's cover of Mein Herr, I'll Make A Man Out of You from the best Disney movie ever Mulan!, Guy Love from Scrubs, the opening to the Utena video game, and, from Flight of the Conchords: Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring

Classiness`(+1 for each instance): Classiness improves everything (just like Rupert Grint!)

Pretty people (+1 to +35, depending): For example, Figwit. Figwit stands for "Frodo is great! Who is that?" And Helena Bonham Carter. And Juri. And Erin Cummings.

Good acting (unless it's deliberately bad in which it's ok) (+7): Things without Keanu Reeves.

Overwrought slow motion sequences (good or bad, depends on context) (+ or -2.8): How can you not love these when they're awesome or despise them when they're not?

Montages (especially training!) (+ 3 if they're good, -11 if they're crap): Montages are almost always entertaining. Here are some of our favorites:

Rocky I
Rocky IV
The Lion King
Buffy
Dirty Dancing
Mulan

Tap dancing (especially up the stairs!) (+14): Tap dancing is always awesome. Stormy Weather has what's probably the greatest tap dancing scene that will ever be filmed.

Awesome trailers (+39): Watchmen and Bitch Slap!

Just so you all know, Charlotte and I started this around 10pm with the intention of writing some stuff and watching a movie. It's now 2:30 in the morning. This is how much we love our readers-we'll spend 4.5 hours tracking down youtube videos, images, and uploading mp3s for you.

ETA: I'm aware that a lot of the mp3 links don't work. I'm going to try and sort that out after I get some sleep.